Ten Ways to Keep Your Long Distance Relationship Steamy and Happy

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder; but too much absence and a lack of creativity can be a messy combination for long distance lovers. Add busy careers, children, and ex-spouses to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster on your hands. But, for those of you who believe that love has no boundaries, there is still hope! With a little creativity, effort, and comfort with technology, you and your long distance lover will create an impenetrable bond that truly knows no boundaries.

Whether you have to fly 3000 miles or drive 3 hours to see your lover, one thing that is certain is that it takes much dedication to maintain a healthy long distance relationship that is fun and worthwhile. The dedication needed has to come from both partners and communication is the key to success. The following tips have helped me and others that I know to have successful long distance relationships, but is by no means exhaustive. Each relationship is unique and some things may work for some but not others.

Be creative
Find ways to be together even when you aren’t together. For instance, watch a favorite TV show together on the phone or while you chat online and discuss the show on the commercials. Try to learn new things about each other by asking fun and interesting questions each day. Look for little things that will make your partner happy. For instance, send romantic cards, flowers, or even a drawing to them to show them that you are thinking of them. Get a special journal to write in for each other and exchange it to take turns writing in it while you are apart. Make a CD or iPod play list for each other that have songs that remind you of one another. Take pictures with your phone throughout the day of funny things that you see and send it to your partner so you can share funny moments together.

Plan ahead
With jobs, kids, and busy schedules it is important to schedule your together time. If you don’t, weeks will get away from you and you will find that you aren’t seeing each other enough. If necessary, make an online calendar using Google calendars that you can each access and plan out each month around when you will see each other so that you have those times to look forward to.

Meet half-way
We can’t always get away long enough to travel the full distance to see one another so why not meet half way? Find a romantic hotel or bed and breakfast half way between you and your partner’s home and meet there for an impromptu romantic evening.

Make the most of your alone time
One of the keys to a successful relationship is for you to not lose yourself in your relationship. Fortunately, long distance relationships make it very simple to do things for yourself since you have time away from your partner. It is very important to use your time wisely. Whether you are getting chores done, spending time with friends and family, or participating in a hobby, it is imperative that you take advantage of your time. Not only is it good for you but it makes your time with your partner better because you don’t feel like you aren’t getting things accomplished.

Surprise!
Plan a surprise visit in the middle of the week. Find out when your partner will be available and be sneaky. Show up when you know he or she will be eating dinner or sitting down to watch TV. You may be tired the next day from all the driving or flying but it’s worth the visit to show your partner how much they mean to you by dropping everything for a day and night to surprise them.

Use technology as much as possible
Technology rules the world these days so use it as much as possible since it is free and easy most of the time! Use a webcam, Skype, or instant messaging to talk each night. When you are each cooking dinner or getting ready for the following day, turn your webcams on and watch each other do everyday activities. It will make you feel like you are actually with your partner in real time! Send text messages throughout your day to keep each other involved in the daily activities and utilize breaks to send emails or messages to each other. Update your Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace status for each other. For instance, let the other person know you are thinking of them by dedicating your status to them. Things like, “thinking about Sally”, or “planning a surprise for Joey” are great examples. If you are competitive with each other, play online games together using Yahoo! or another gaming site.

Technology really helps two people stay in touch constantly

Intimacy
Intimacy is valuable to any couple but is not as frequent in long distance relationships. Make the most of your time together and be romantic whenever possible. It is ok to be naughty sometimes and spice up your sex life even if you aren’t in the same room. Have phone sex, send each other naughty pictures, or use a webcam.

Be Patient
Be patient with each other and be patient about how you communicate. For instance, things can be misinterpreted via text message or email so take the time to talk before losing your patience with your partner if you are unsure what he or she means in that last text message or email. Be patient with scheduling as well. Things come up in life so try to go with the flow when schedule changes arise.

Discuss your future as a couple
Decide where your relationship is going. If it is not going to be long term is it worth putting effort into a long distance relationship? Is there a certain point in time where one person will move to live closer to the other? It helps if there is an end in sight.

Communicate, communicate, communicate!
As in any relationship, communication is key, but it is even more important in a long distance relationship. Express your feelings openly and freely and be honest with each other about how you are feeling and how the distance is difficult for you.